


No Mountain High Enough

by danceswithgary



Category: Smallville
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-21
Updated: 2006-10-21
Packaged: 2017-10-03 21:14:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceswithgary/pseuds/danceswithgary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bored Lex can be a dangerous thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Mountain High Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Response to [absolut_lex](http://community.livejournal.com/absolut_lex/) challenge. Prompt: High!Lex

Lex was bored.

 

Really, really bored.

 

Lex typed 'bored' into the online thesaurus and came up with 'uninterested', 'bored rigid', 'bored stiff', 'bored to death', 'bored to tears', 'jaded'. Yes, they were all appropriate and he was fed up. Oh, and that was an alternate phrase, 'fed up'.

 

When Lex was this bored, the world needed to be very worried.

 

An extremely world-weary, cynical, melancholic (more time well spent with the thesaurus) Lex tried to decide on whether to start experimenting with hazardous materials or to establish a monopoly on a vital commodity like coffee or to turn all cows purple. He finally settled on the last so he could enjoy the look on his father-in-law's face when the cows came home.

 

The world's cows were spared the embarrassment of looking like walking grapes when Lex discovered the random article function in Wikipedia while researching natural dyes.

 

*The mountain most widely claimed to be the highest unclimbed mountain in the world in terms of elevation seems to be Gangkhar Puensum, 7570m (24,836 feet). It is in Bhutan, on or near the border with Tibet. In Bhutan, climbing of high mountains has been prohibited since 1994. If prominence is considered, rather than elevation, the high point of the Finisterre range in Papua New Guinea is a good candidate. If it has been climbed there seems to be no record of the achievement.*

 

Lex really liked the idea of doing something no one else had done before. Although turning all cows purple certainly fell into that category, he suspected his husband would be much more supportive of the whole 'climbing a mountain no one else had climbed' thing. Keeping in mind he was trying to avoid illegal (see prohibited) actions because he would have to put up with disappointed looks and sighs for weeks, as well as a distinct lack of you-know-what, he decided on the New Guinea location. Oddly enough, it never occurred to Lex that purpling bovines without permission could possibly be considered illegal and/or prohibited. He had been saved from himself by a random click.

Putting together a list of the necessary equipment kept Lex busy for a few days. He checked the test results on the sleeping bags and tents, investigated the thermal properties of clothing and determined the necessary UV ratings on sunblock. Ordering and awaiting the paraphernalia was another few days, especially for the items special-ordered in purple.

When he wasn't badgering manufacturers, Lex was arranging for the base camp to be set up and manned. He wasn't too concerned about his physical condition for the climb; he'd learned the value of a rigorous exercise routine early on when it came to keeping up with Clark in bed. Lois never knew just how right she was when she labeled him 'Superman'.

Lex hadn't shared all his plans with Clark, yet. He really wanted to make this climb without Superman's help or protection. Having his primary-colored protector hovering a few feet below him all the way up the mountain would really take the gloss off his sense of accomplishment. After he succeeded, and he would succeed, they would celebrate at the beach. It had been a long time since they had taken a more than a few days off together.

A new company in Sydney provided a cover story. Lex fed Clark the 'caught up in meetings, heavy negotiating and after-hours entertaining, you'll be bored and absence makes the heart grow fonder and we'll meet in Port Moresby for sun and fun after' story without a single qualm. It wasn't as if Clark had never kept a secret from Lex after all. Moreover, he was doing something legally! The real difficulty was the length of time involved for the climb. To avoid high-altitude sickness, he had to acclimatize going up and coming back down and that added days to the ascent. Lex's healing ability gave him an advantage and he calculated he could manage it in about 10 days. Lex wasn't sure either one of them could handle over a week apart, but he was going to give it his best shot. He just hoped his left hand wouldn't fall off from all the extra exercise.

. . .

 

At 19,000 feet, Lex still felt strong. No symptoms he couldn't handle, the worst being the twitch he'd developed being away from his laptop and cell phone for 5 days. He remembered he'd had the same problem on the island and that holding on to something tightly helped. Unfortunately, the cold was preventing easy access to that particular cure until he was alone in his tent at night. At least he was able to make a daily call out via satellite link so he could preserve the illusion of meetings in Sydney.

There had been no sign of Clark yet. Lex wasn't sure if he was happy he'd been able to fool him, or unhappy that Clark didn't miss him enough to track him down. Lex decided to work with the happy scenario, and reserve the unhappy for future ammunition. Visions of a penitent Clark on his knees never failed to warm him despite the dropping temperature.

On the final day of the ascent, Lex was starting to feel the effects of the high-altitude and was looking forward to finishing and then heading back down. Navigating around the final narrow spine of rock before the clear stretch to the top, Lex suddenly felt a warm body at his back. A quick hug and "Tsunami, I'll be back as soon as I can," and he was alone again. Damn that alien!

 

. . .

 

"Is there any champagne left?"

Lex was standing at the summit alone contemplating the purple flag he'd planted. The photographers and guides had started back down at his insistence and he would catch up with them shortly. If he wasn't afraid he'd start an avalanche, he would have been jumping up and down and screaming in frustration, releasing his inner toddler, when he heard Clark arrive.

"How long have you been hovering out there, waiting to save me? I can't believe I thought I would actually pull this off without your help." Lex's expression made Clark wince.

"Lex, when you consider the ambient temperature right now, do you really want to test the validity of one of the universal parental warnings?" Clark tried to diffuse the tension with a joke, but then resorted to gathering his resisting husband into his arms.

"Nice try, my face is not going to freeze this way. I want to know how long." Lex didn't try to pull away knowing it would be yet another failure.

"I've known almost from the beginning, Lex. I knew you were getting bored, so I was keeping my ears open, just in case. I thought it was a great idea, so I didn't interfere – at all. You *did* do this all by yourself, with your support team of course. I just wanted to see you reach the summit, that's why I was here today and then I missed it anyway because of the tsunami." Clark searched Lex's eyes for forgiveness. "I'm really proud of you and I hope you got some good pictures."

Lex finally relented and after bestowing the long-delayed kiss, reached into his rucksack and pulled out the obligatory champagne bottle. "There isn't much left. When we opened it, it foamed out all over, but I think there's at least a sip left for you."

Not bothering with a glass, Clark upended the bottle and then shared his sip with his husband. He was particularly fond of Lex-flavored wine and the setting was spectacular. He let Lex go reluctantly, knowing he had to start back down with his team, after promising that Lex's left hand could take a break that night.

 

. . .

 

When Lex entered his tent that evening, he found it much warmer than usual. A few minutes later, it was downright hot despite his rapid loss of clothing. Snuggling later with his favorite heat source, he couldn't resist a groan when he heard a click and the dulcet tones of Marvin Gaye, "Listen Baby...ain't no mountain high enough..."

"Clarrrrkkk!"

 

. . .

 

On the beach, Clark was happily soaking up the sun while Lex was content in the shade of a large purple cabana sipping his third Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster #5. It was lovely here and Clark had been quite enthusiastic last night and this morning before breakfast, after their swim, before lunch, and after their nap. Now Clark was sleeping and Lex was feeling just the tiniest bit...bored. Examining some of the seashells Clark picked up for him reminded him about the murex shells the Phoenicians used to create their royal purple dye.

 

The preliminary designs of a delivery mechanism for purple dye and methods to test its permanency on Holsteins vs. Guernseys were in Lex's PDA before Clark picked him up and whooshed them back to the bungalow for a little pre-dinner exercise.

**Author's Note:**

> Ain't No Mountain High Enough
> 
> Listen Baby...
> 
> Ain't no mountain high  
> Ain't no valley low  
> Ain't no river wide enough baby
> 
> If you need me call me  
> no matter where you are  
> no matter how far (don't worry baby)  
> just call my name  
> I'll be there in a hurry  
> you don't have to worry
> 
> chorus:  
> 'Cause baby there  
> Ain't no mountain high enough  
> Ain't no valley low enough  
> Ain't no river wide enough  
> To keep me from getting to you babe
> 
> written by Nickolas Ashford and Valerie Simpson in 1966
> 
>  
> 
> Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster #5   
> Ingredients:  
> 2 oz Vodka   
> 1 oz Triple sec   
> 1/2 oz Grenadine   
> Fill with Pineapple juice   
> Top with 7-Up   
> Mixing instructions:  
> Fill Collins glass with ice. Add 2 oz. of vodka and 1 oz. triple sec. Fill glass almost to the top with pineapple juice, add Grenadine for color, and top off the glass with 7-Up or Slice. Shake or stir until the drink turns a light orange-pink color.


End file.
